[applause]

Originally Posted by warbird

I recently received the following from an expert on RS n love:

Why It Pays To Play Hard to Get


According to Bertrand Russell, "Human nature is constructed so that it gives affection most readily to those who seem to demand it the least."


This being the case "and I assure you it is" then what hope can any normal human being who intensely craves love and affection have of winning the one they want?


Won't their very need for the other person be the thing that turns the one they want away from them?


The answer is "NO!" It is not the need for love, which all people inherently feel which drives others away from them, but it is their indiscretion about exhibiting that need. What we need to learn is to make a distinction in our lives between the way we feel and the way we act! Or, in other words, we must learn self-control. Not that we should suppress our emotions to the degree that we deny to ourselves what we are feeling. No, no indeed.


We should always realize and be honest with ourselves what we are feeling inside. But we must be discerning, discreet and wise about the things we know about ourselves, which we share with others. Just because you find yourself desperately wanting someone, for example, doesn't mean you should act desperate. But neither does it mean you should try to deny the feeling in yourself.


So you feel desperate! So what?! There's no shame in that. Join the club. Millions of wonderful, great, fantastic people who have lived long before you have felt this way. There's nothing wrong with wanting.


But what I warn you against is not trying to control the way you talk about it to others. You see, a dog should wag his tail, not have the tail wag the dog. And YOU are the one who ultimately controls your behavior, your emotions should not be doing that.


Remember when you were small and felt unhappy and upset about not getting your way? What did most of us do? We would lie down on the floor and act out our emotions by beating our fists on the floor and kicking wildly. But when we got older we learned to put away childish behaviors and hold back, except in the area of romance.


What I'm saying is that we need to be mature in this area as well. "But," someone cries out, "isn't it dishonest to not express what you feel?" "No," I answer. "It's a simple matter of growing up." The mature thing to do is to learn to distinguish between feelings and actions. Feel intently, deeply and honestly. But keep your behavior in check.


That person who keeps his behavior separate from his feeling ultimately commands the most respect, and love from others.





I must imprint the above advice deep in my primitive brains, hehehe.

Cheers!

Bro WB

Bro WB

What an auspicious day!

Let me quote yous small fine print "I must imprint the above advice deep in my primitive brains, hehehe."

Me too need to have the advice in my small brain.

Really a lovely piece of advice which we knew all along but just the small head took control most times.

Thank you for the nice thread.

Have a great weekend.

TGIF!!