If you could turn back time, would you still get married?

[blocky]

ohhhh.... marriage sounds like a high risk bet

[MoJoe313]

Originally Posted by topcook1

I still have to work but without much stress about losing my job....well I have rental collection from my house , a FD interest ...driving part time taxi during weekends ...Just feel happy nowadays coz no more emotional stress and nobody to be accountable except being filial to my parents. This is my interpretation , different people has its interpretation too..

Thanks again for sharing, bro. Maybe its a lot easier when one has no kids, a feeling I forgot. After reading your version, I don't think its that tough to feed oneself. Two meals a day, a paid roof over my head, a simple job and no stress. Good enough.

[MoJoe313]

Originally Posted by cmelater

Bro,

Its as much as is required to upkeep your personal lifestyle.... need not be some insane sum. It varies.

Maybe I been around too many people that try too hard to build a giant nest egg. I have some peers that departed. So I wonder if it wise to push the body so hard for something that one may not enjoy.

[MoJoe313]

Originally Posted by cmelater

I also feel damn financial weak. After coughing much money for house/ shop and whatever whatever for the family, I have not even 500 bucks in my own account. :|

Marriage drains the life out of man. sigh.....

Take it easy bro. I was way negative when I was at your age building a home. I remember giving my last $2 to my wife to eat a bowl of noodles claiming I was not hungry. I got out it years later. You will too.

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by blocky

ohhhh.... marriage sounds like a high risk bet

Its a damn big bet and the odds are just against the man. Its a do or die.... (but wait) or can quit mission. So, its a matter of what you believe in.

Honestly, the other half may or may not be a stranger at the end of the day.

My view remains (changed a lot from years back) that man must have money before beginning this journey of no return. Have your wealth carefully stashed away (unfortunately) for various purposes. The moment the other half knows you have that much, it is assumed that you will share with her.

Once my SO saw $xxx in my account (which was the proceeds from my mum's property), she asked why wife not getting a share of it. Then I was like, wtf. In the first place, that's my mum's money.....

You know hor. Its not just money, but lots of implicit and explicit rules and parameters which the man is assumed to know and adhere to..... did I mention "it goes without saying"?

Before marriage, its all "ok", but after that.... that's where the real surprise starts. Marry with your eyes (not just) wide open, but farking wide open.

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by MoJoe313

Maybe I been around too many people that try too hard to build a giant nest egg. I have some peers that departed. So I wonder if it wise to push the body so hard for something that one may not enjoy.

Yea lor, so y the f work hard? Its starting to dawn on me too that working hard for someone who may be just a stranger later on.... what for? Its ironic. But, these are hard facts. No certainty and guarantee of will be together, though also depending on efforts from both sides.

[blocky]

Originally Posted by cmelater

Its a damn big bet and the odds are just against the man. Its a do or die.... (but wait) or can quit mission. So, its a matter of what you believe in.

Honestly, the other half may or may not be a stranger at the end of the day.

....

Before marriage, its all "ok", but after that.... that's where the real surprise starts. Marry with your eyes (not just) wide open, but farking wide open.

bro.... thanks for the advice and sharing your experience

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by blocky

bro.... thanks for the advice and sharing your experience

Its terrible to make the mistakes which others (including myself) have made.

And my SO was still asking for money recently. Really wtf.... Thats really marriage to those of you who have yet to see the uglier side of stuff. Got kids lagi worse. No day no nite.

[Johnbass]

Which is worse?
Married and Farked Up, or...
Forever Alone and Farked Up...

[Wintermelontea]

Marriage can be good and happening IF both can manage each other's expectations and stay within a limited tolerance (i.e., if she "eat" outside, can you take it and forgive her just like she will forgive you?)

In the current SG or world context, we have much more to battle against. For instance, if you are a jet-set person, it is much more tedious and effort-straining to maintain a proper and healthy relationship.

Being single has it's advantages. One can be more freed up to do what one likes. There are less considerations unlike a married or attached with partner that has to "report" or discuss about such impromptu arrangements.

I believe the only time to get married is when you are sure you want to and not because of "my friends around me are all married"; "my girlfriends boast about how their marriage/wedding is going to be"; "how expensive and elaborate my gown is" blah blah blah.

Get married because you are in love and can see beyond the years of being together with no sex and watching your kids grow up, able to communicate almost anything even in argument or conflict.

[topcook1]

Totally marriage is not easy.......unless both partners has no expectations ...act blur throughout the life...

[Andfan]

marry or dun marry is okay to fuck outside just tat dun get your wife HIV ....btw bro i dun seem you like a good men too u also come to this fourm looking for good stuff

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by topcook1

Totally marriage is not easy.......unless both partners has no expectations ...act blur throughout the life...

Thats the tough part. Expectations are part of the package. Its a tendency for people to live life like the jones next door. :/

Even if oc no expectations, her village may necessarily have their own. Quite crappy one cos then the marriage is no longer about 2 persons but different groups of people. Unfortunately, it stil not qualify as an orgy...

This wasnt new to me. To know a person, its important to know her surrounding family, friends and et etc kaki. Feathers of a bird flock together. If you want to find a swan, you have to look for that gathering of swans. If you want to find a hungry, look for that pack of wolves on the hunt. If u wan a cheongster gf, go to a club or nite spot.

The point is that the places where she hang out at will also be somewhat indicative of the person she really is. At least, this is what i think it is. Cheers

[Atasbeng]

I won't!

Married for 7 yrs with kids. Didn't really knew my wife. we were together for a year and decided to get married since in our 30s. As days goes by and the more u discover,the unhappiness and stress builds up. And the love disappears,feeling more and more burden as the days goes by...I'm sure some bros can relate.

Am having an affair currently with a woman I met 6 mths ago and things between us were magical(trust me it's not honeymoon period cause both of us are in the late 30s and knew what we want in life).theres so much connection and understanding for the first time in my life I discovered what's the meaning of soulmate. And even though it's been only few mths the love for each other is so strong. Which translates to the best sex I ever had.

Now I'm stuck as I want to be with the woman I love and yet have to b responsible to my kids of whom their mother I got no feelings for..
Am glad I'm back in this forum. The only place where I can let it out

[peanutbutterjel]

I would get married. But maybe not to the same man???